How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
