It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You were trust falling into bushes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
