just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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