When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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