you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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