true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
