Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
