I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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