Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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