well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
