i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
