And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
