it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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