Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
