What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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