Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
