I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
