And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
