Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
