I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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