Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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