And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
