My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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