when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
