after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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