: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
