Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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