I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also, beer. Big fan.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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