I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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