She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
