shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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