I must be too annoying 4 u.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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