If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
