I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
