If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
