dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
