i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
last night I used snow as a chaser
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
