I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
