tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
