Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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