Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
