He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
