You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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