Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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