Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
