im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
