people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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