It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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