She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize