when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
