problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
