pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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