8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
