Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize