with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
