Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
