i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
