Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
