I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
