This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
