Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
