i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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