I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
