I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
