I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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