I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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