idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
