I can't watch pbs sober anymore
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
