Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
